Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize