do herpes really smell.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
