I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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