we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
