Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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