the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
they're like a gay fantastic four
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
