dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
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I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
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I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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