oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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