Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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