I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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