Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
