Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize