Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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