I'm going to jail i love you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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