Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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