So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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