Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
