Don't you send me to vm
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
