Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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