So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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