Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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