My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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