Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize