Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize