yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
