either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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