i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
