Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
