All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
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I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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