Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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