What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
