He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Green mimosas i think yes
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
