Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize