whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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