what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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