I'm so fucking centered right now
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
