Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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