Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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