I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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