So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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