Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Who died my cat blue again?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
