My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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