we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
