get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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