Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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