Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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