Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
