Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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