Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
