What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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