Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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