He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
