Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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