I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
