It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
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Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
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Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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