Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
