White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
