I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize