surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
