You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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