i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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