so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
